After 9 years in the Army, I decided to pack up and leave for greener pastures, even if this greener pasture was another f******* desert. There were many factors that contributed to my decision but mainly the fact that there’s no NTC rotations and I don’t have to wake up at 5:30 in the f******* morning on a daily basis. Also my knees hurt. Good luck out there my fellow soldiers, with your field problems and motor pool mondays. I shall be thinking of all of you. Probably from an elegant office chair while sipping coffee from the free Space Force mug I got.

I’ll take a patty melt with a side of relaxed standards.