It was early 2000s I was a young SGT full of all the HOOAH!! I ran the Night Shift in the Mosul ER. My shift was coming to an end when one of the guys with a CAC from every branch came in.

I figured he wanted me to look up some NSNs which happened often enough. Turns out he caught something out there raw dogging it. So I told him the bad news that he would be getting rodded off the range. Here is where I fucked up I didn’t notice he was wearing a wedding band.

So I told my junior medic to go ahead and prep the stuff since she’d already done quite a few (Fort Liberty had issues back in the day). Here’s my second fatal error, junior had just found out her husband back stateside was not only cheating but also had a baby on the way.

I sit at the computer typing my notes for the night getting ready for hand off when I hear the most painful cry I’ve ever heard a man who wasn’t dying make. I rip back the curtain and junior has like damn near half the swab up there and twisting it like she’s trying to start a car with a bad starter.

After I got him some pain meds and his antibiotic and sent him limping on his way. I asked Junior what the deal was. Unlike myself she noticed the wedding band and figured it was time for some karma.

That is how I almost cost a man his penis. Attention to detail. Also don’t cheat lol.

Edit: I’ll have the fried fish and greens with Mac and cheese