Throwaway because of shame.

My job in the military was a surgical technician and although I never saw combat, the things I did see and pressure I was under to perform and not make a mistake that could cost someone's life impacted me immensely. I ended up going to therapy to try to cope with the stress of this job for months.

Anyway, I eventually did end up making a mistake and was removed from my job (I could not scrub anymore). After that point I became suicidal. I ended up spending around a week and a half in a psych ward and being discharged 4 months later. This is a shortened version of everything that happened, but in the end I never figured out what happened to the patient.

Over the years, this incident has completely affected my ability to handle stress, especially job stress, even if it is not a life or death situation. I'm talking as a fast food worker, cutting grass... anytime I make a mistake I lash out, break down in tears, or have a panic attack.

So my question is this: is experiencing combat or MST the only viable conditions to claim PTSD? I want frank and honest answers. Sometimes I'll come across a gatekeeping post or comment and the shame comes right back to me. I feel I have no right to talk about my experience from the military and that I'm weak and have no place here as a veteran. It's hard even considering myself as a veteran because I know I failed.

Anyway, just wanted to bring this up and get this off my chest.