So today was my last C&P exam for a litany of claims I’ve made during my transition to retirement. I figured I’d provide a few thoughts on the process…

First my thoughts. I had an audiology exam Monday and it went as expected. I’ve had numerous surgeries on my ears and low and behold this exam was further proof that I can’t hear shit. The audiologist was there to do the test and learn about my issues. Pretty cut and dry.

Next was the big C&P exam with Optum serve. The Nurse Practitioner was amazing and actually diagnosed two issues I didn’t know I had. Flat feet and fibromyalgia were the issues. She asked me questions I gave her answers. It was pretty awesome that they had an x-ray machine on site and I didn’t have to schedule them. This visit was not at all what I expected. I went in expecting cold, matter of fact, looking at me through a microscope. It was the exact opposite. Though I will admit that I never realized just how broken my body was. That part really made me look back on my career and think about how much stress I put my body through for the sake of ‘the mission.’

Then today, the exam I was dreading most. Behavioral health and mental health exam. It was a Telehealth appointment and of course…I had technical difficulties which made me just a bit more anxious. The Psychologist was amazing. She asked me questions about my mental health, my PTSD events, and how I’m dealing with them. I had been involved in the MC-12W program for a deployment and experienced numerous events that I had packed away tightly to never be opened after getting back on American soil. I had to open that box and it stirred up a lot of emotions that overwhelmed me. It sucked giant donkey dick but I slugged through it. She was upfront and told me that she’s diagnosing me for PTSD and that what I went through was not something to tuck away and try to forget about. I appreciated her empathy throughout the entire conversation and I felt heard.

I don’t know any of my results for any of the claims but honestly I do not care what they are. I put myself out there and showed what my experiences did to my mind and body. What comes of it is what is.