Was bullshitting at work with a guy who's a Marine vet. We were swapping stories when he lays out the best ANA anecdote I've heard.

"I was on lookout with an ANA guy on our post. After a while, I said, 'Dude, I'm sorry; I know it's Ramadan but I gotta eat'.

'No, no, is okay... me hate Ramadan.'

'Dude what? Isn't Ramadan like your Christmas or some shit?'

'Meh, me hate Ramadan.'

So I go to pull out some crackers and he says, 'Can I have??'

So I give this dude a cracker and he crouches behind a barricade, peeking over it like a paranoid rat, going to town on this dry-ass cracker.'

This goes on and on. I pull something out, he asks if he can have some... until I pull out a cigarette.

He asks for a smoke, so I hand one to him.

'Agh, me hate Ramadan...'

He then turns to look at me with his brow furrowed and says, 'You hate Ramadan... you hashish?'

I turn to look at him and say, 'Hell yeah!'

Fast as fuck with speed I didn't know possible to mankind, he rolls the cigarette between his palms and empties the tobacco. He proceeds to produce the BIGGEST, black ball of hashish and rakes it into the cigarette with his fingernail.

After a good hour, it's his time to leave his post. I pulled out a damp, wrinkly 20 and offered it in exchange for the hash.

He smacks the ball into my hand and closes my fist around it. He intensely stares into my eyes and says what I'll never forget:

'No, no money. Me hate Ramadan. Me Marine too.'

And off he went. Never saw him again, but God bless him."

It's a much better story in person, but goddamn did I laugh my ass off.