Hello, I’m an Infantryman with 6.5 years in the R-Mee. I was lucky enough to get 1 combat deployment. Got the t-shirt, got the badge, and some fun memories. Now I’m currently a DASR (FML). My mental and physical health has been on a downward spiral for years after COVID and my divorce. I feel like a failure in all aspects of my life... as a leader, infantryman, husband, etc etc. I’m very idealistic, and can’t bring myself to be proud of my service or life in general because I’m so pessimistic. Some days I have a severe lack of confidence but have become pretty proficient in the art of faking it until I make it. I’ve created a very lonely existence for myself. I’ve began abusing prescriptions as a cope. It’s all so exhausting. My physical performance suffers and is a reflection of my mental state. I’m not failing tape or PT tests but I’m not where I think I should be. I’m hoping to get better. I’ve never really expressed my mental health issues with anyone, so this might be a first. Don’t know what I expect to come of this post, but it’s been kind of therapeutic to throw this out into the void. Will probably delete after the “post nut” clarity sets in, and I get embarrassed by the thought. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to get back to work and talk to kids about the R-Mee