I'm am currently at 70% for Major Depressive Disorder and 90% overall. I was medboard late 2020 and excited to start my journey out the military. I enrolled in a community college shortly after. Unfortunately things didn't go as plan and my condition would get worse. I would constantly go through bouts of depression. Doing anything just felt so difficult and taxing. So many days where I didn't leave my bed and just drank in my bedroom. I wasn't much of a drinker (only drank when my battle buddies convinced me) but buy early 2021 I started to drink heavily. It had gotten to the point where I drink a half liter or more of vodka a day. Also having daily/weekly thoughts of unaliving myself. The heavy drinking and deep depression has been happening for over 16 months.

After failing 2 semesters in a row I decided I didn't want waste my GI Bill and go back to school when I was doing better mentally. Fast forward to March 2022, I learn about TDUI and my wife suggest that I apply for it. I sent my packet for TDUI early March. Come June I have my exam with a physician to determine my if I qualify for TDUI. I guess also since it was couple of years since my last C&P exam, I would have both a C&P and TDUI exam at the same time.

The exam was done via video call and quite frankly it didn't go well. I answered all of the questions I was asked but I couldn't help but hold back on a few details. It felt more like a lecture from him than an exam by a physician. After the first few minutes I didn't like how I was being talked to and pretty much shut down when answering questions. Felt like he was telling it was my fault why I drink and am depressed. After the exam I knew I wouldn't get a positive evaluation from him.

A couple weeks later I get my decision letter. I was not only denied TDUI but I was also proposed to have my disability percentage for my MDD to go down to 50%. I call my local VSO who barely helps my appeal proposal for lower percentage decision. When I tell her I also want to appeal my TDUI decision she tells me to get a Nexus letter and don't call back until I get one.

I then go to my local DAV who informs me that I cannot appeal my TDUI decision until my other appeal for reduction is finished(something my VSO neglect to tell me).I can't even put in a financial hardship claim because I was told it would delay my already appealed claim. So one bad exam by a VA physician has set me back for months and prevents me from claiming anything else. Like it wasn't even a in person exam! How can you even properly evaluate me when I am video calling you from my cellphone and can you only see my neck up?! I've been struggling to pay my bills and rent since the beginning of this year and now I'm on the verge of losing everything. Behind so much on payments that I don't know where to began.

I now have to wait months for me to know if I get to keep my 90 percent, then I have to wait even more time to appeal my TDUI decision. I also have dependent claim that bet me some back pay but guess what? It doesn't move until my appeal is done. What good does backpay do when I'm drowning right now. One exam caused all of this shit. I might lose my place by then, like this shit is so unhelpful. I have no idea what to do next. I feel even worse seeing all the debt climbing up, I just have no idea what to do. If they can give me a C&P appointment and a TDUI exam at the same time, then why the fuck can't I appeal both of them together! I hate the VA with all my soul and if I go it's because of them. Sorry for the long rant I just need to get this stuff off my chest.