One time in Group we did a 15 mile ruck. I forgot to use any of my Body Glide or Anti Monkey Butt powder.

I did fine on the ruck but my asshole was absolutely DESTROYED. It legitimately felt like it ripped down the seam. It was incredibly chaffed and it hurt every second. Every time I stood up, it was like Lucifer was spreading my ass cheeks for my next anal pounding. When I sat down, it was like sitting on a hot cast iron skillet. I’m not kidding, it was Hell on Earth level kind of pain.

I did however have a mass amount of A&D ointment since I always get tattoos.

Issue was, I could not see where the irritation was spread exactly around my asshole. I needed help. But who would spread A&D on my asshole for me?

That’s where my battle buddy comes into play. We went through BCT, AIT, first unit, and Group together. We’ve been through it all together, so I said fuck it, and asked him. He actually did not really flinch when I asked him for this favor.

I pulled my pants down, got in the female missionary position, my buddy put on some gloves, and he rubbed A&D all over my chaffed asshole. Dude never gave me shit for it or talked about it.

We are not cav scouts.