The world outside my window was a silent canvas painted by the moon's faint glow. The clock read 3:02am, and that's when it began – an unexpected pang of hunger surged through my being.

As I sat alone in my dimly lit room, the choices before me seemed endless. Frozen burritos, their icy shells promising a quick fix, nestled away in the freezer. Leftover takeout, waiting to be welcomed home. An array of options, each whispering their own appeal.

Amidst this collection of culinary prospects, there she stood: the shredded beef in BBQ sauce MRE. A relic from eight months prior, a time when the field was my home. Its packaging, slightly worn from its journey, held a promise of sustenance that transcended its age.

A momentary hesitation gripped me, a fleeting contemplation of my impending decision. And then, without further ado, resolve surged forth like a river's current. The course was set; I was committed. I began movement to the kitchen.

Gathering my tools – five slices of delicate wheat bread and the MRE package, its contents tantalizingly mysterious. The package, teasing its secrets with a gentle rustle, revealed a trove of shredded meat bathed in BBQ sauce. I took a deep whiff of the inviting scent, an olfactory masterpiece that sent shivers down my spine.

I carefully released the MRE spoon from its plastic prison. Its edges gleamed softly in the ambient light. With a measured hand, I slowly inserted it into the tight opening of the package, extracting a portion that seemed almost perfectly sculpted. It was a moment suspended in time, a chef's rite of passage.

With the chosen slice of bread before me, I took the final step. The spoon met its canvas, the succulent meat intertwining with the fibers of the bread. A symphony of textures and flavors danced before me, a tactile delight that resonated in the very core of my being.

Anticipation met reality as I took that monumental first bite. The promise of satisfaction hung in the air, a silent pact between creator and creation. And then, in an instant, it all unraveled. The taste that met my senses was an assault. It tasted like sh*t. I finished it all. I didn’t have to but I did.

I’ll have a 6 pc chicken tender, large Sprite, and something to help with the constipation…