i have a feeling this'll end up in the abyss of this community with people dealing with real world shit. i'm burnt out. i am struggling to find a reason to care anymore about pretty much anything.

i'm up to about a pack a day again. everything is a chore and putting the uniform on and putting on a brave face for my Joes is just another task again. i am not even sure how to articulate how i'm feeling about anything now. i just need a break and to escape from it all for a bit.

i don't know what i expect to gain or how i want things to work out for me and my family.

maybe i am the weak link to the group and should let someone else step up. i'm getting so tired of hearing that another friend gave up and isn't here anymore, more so because i wanted them here to talk to.

the words that i find just don't seem to compare. i'm the only one stressed and the only one tired of having fake friends.

maybe this'll help someone realize that they aren't the only one feeling like they're fighting a battle by themselves.