Hi again brothers and sisters. Even if the title changed, you might recognize me from my First Story, my Second Story, my Third Story, my Fourth Story and Fifth Story Once again, thank you for all your support. Writing is my therapy, you reading it is part of it. Thank you for your caring and loving comments. Merci beaucoup.

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I’m French. I’m in the Army. I’m in the infantry and fucking proud of it. I do love embracing the suck and I always took everything with that « fuck it » mindset.

Our plane landed on a African red dust runway. The dust stick to its dark grey color. It didn't even turn off its engines, we load everything from our bags to our weapons and ammunition, what's left of it at least. It's time to head home.

Mission accomplished ? Yeah, they tell you that but you have that feeling that you could have done more. Missed opportunities, near-death experiences, sleepless nights and uneventful days. If chain of command wasn't full of people scared to do something that might cost them a promotion, we might have been more efficient.

No need to think about all that. We are going home. I am going home.

Not so fast soldier. First, we gotta land in a neighboring country in deep Africa for whatever reasons. You land at night and there's no one on the runway. An angry little French Air Force officer yells at you to get your stuff quickly and get the fuck out of the way. You go even slower. Who is this fucking cake-eater ? What does he know ?

You carry three heavy bags, your weapons, your plate carrier and helmet. You carry 5kg of dust and filth. Last shower was what ? 5 days ago ? 1 bottle of water was the best Army could do for you soldier.

No need to think about all that. We are going home. I am going home.

Unfortunately, they didn't plan food for you guys. We don't even make a sound. Always fucked, never surprised. At least, you have water. There's a 10 person tent allowed to us. 45 of us. Oh and there's no AC in it. We don't make a sound. We just put our bags where we can, laying against AC units that are cooling empty officers offices. At least, we don't have guard duty tonight.

Hell, they took all of our ammunition. I hate that. I've lived with those for 4 months and they saved my life and you take that away from me. I'm too tired to complain. I just want to sleep.

Another mean little person come yelling at us because we are sleeping on the ground. It doesn't sit right with this guy because it gives a bad image to the officers working in the area. The officers working an 8 to 5 job.

They treat us like animals. We are not supposed to be here. They just want to pass us to the next guy so we won't be their problem anymore. We are the unwanted. Brotherhood is only an idea for some, it seems.

I get angry. Those fuckers are the ones who sent us on this isolated FOB, hours from any allied forces. Now that we did our job, they don't want to deal with us ? I am disappointed. We talked so much about getting back, hoping for the food and a shower they would give us. Always fucked, almost never surprised.

I lay down against a hangar and the light above me is flickering. I light a smoke and just sit there like the professional soldier I should be. Mosquitoes are hunting us and you hear hands clapping all around. We talk about when we are going home and how Army is just a big fuck-up party that is good at make us believe they're organized. French Air Force officer's mother had a few new lovers that night it seems. We smoke all night and we share some army rations leftover. The night is slow and we talk about how are showers at home. Fuck water savings, I'm going to have a 45min shower.

A warm orange sun is rising slowly on the runway. Artificial lights are fading in the natural light getting stronger at every seconds. The Air Base is waking up. Slowly. I can smell eggs and bacon coming from the officer's mess. Fuck I don't drink coffee but I'd give my last smokes for it.

Another guy look for us and find a herd of dirty and restless souls. We do not even stand-up to salute. He has good news. They found us a shower unit and we will be able to take a quick shower. We better be fast, the water tank is almost empty. He also has bad news. They can't find our names on the passenger list for the flight back to France. Obviously.

We stand-up and close on the poor guy. He's told that he better find us a place on that plane or this base is going to have 45 angry dudes that don't have anything to lose right now. Officer or not he says he will do his best. I sure hope so.

Still no food. Still no rest area. We head for the showers.

I plan to shower fully dressed because I need to wash my combat clothes. We laugh and push each other as to be first in line. Our laughs are stopped pretty fast when the water turns out to be the color of dirt and goo and smells like decomposed meat. The first guys are yelling angry as they smell like a roadkill carcass. Dead rats and other animals are in there because they forgot to close the tank. Always fucked, never surprised. We will learn, later, that this shower unit has been abandoned months ago but was never unplugged from the electrical grid.

Guess I sweat for nothing while running to the showers.

I am back on my bags against the hangar. The light is still flickering. The sun is up.

I am wondering why did I signed up. Why did I abandon the comfort of a home, the loving arms of the woman of my life for this nonsense ? Yes my work has meaning for me. The disrespect I feel at that moment from the whole Army is limitless. How can they treat us like this ? We obey without asking questions, we endure for months and this is how they repay us ? I don't care about the money. I care about the brotherhood I believe in. I can't find it and I am sad.

No need to think about all that. We are going home. I am going home.

Fast forward a few hours. Medics heard about the decomposed rat shower and made us shower and sterilize everything. No shit, they don't want Cholera back to France. They find spots for all of us on the plane departing today. It's almost empty. Fuckers.

Moral is going up. We are clean, on our way home and food will be on the menu on the plane.

Before boarding an officer come and gather us. They are rerouting our plane to another Air Force base in France. Tens of hours away from our unit base. They have to quarantine us and test us for COVID. Obviously.

They don't know how they will be able to welcome us concerning food and sleeping conditions. They did not plan for our arrival. Officers in charge are not on site. They don't know how long we will wait.

Always fucked, never surprised.

The plane home is the longest of my life. It is only a few hours away.

Is that how they are welcoming us ? We fucking left our country for months and they don't even want us back.

I think about all that. We're not going home. I am not going home.

We land and another French Air Force officer yell at us to get the fuck away from the plane and to head to a hangar. It's France in winter. It's cold and we don't have winter clothes. We are waiting for hours in this hangar, doors fully open for the wind to come in. We are alone, no one is here for us.

They are waiting for nurses to come and do COVID tests on us. They will make us wait for 5 hours in the cold.

No words, poking in the nose, no words and we are on our way. They brought civilians buses to carry us to another hangar. We wait. We don't have smokes anymore.

We are still waiting for the bus that will bring us home.

We don't even talk to each other anymore. Disappointment will do that to you. Also, everyone is hoping and wants to talk about home. Better be silent than jinx it.

Bus comes. We board and we are on our 12 hours trip. Finally. I can't sleep. I look at the wheat fields on the side of the road. Wondering if this trip back home will ever end.

We arrive at my unit base at 02:00 AM. Colonel receives us :

- "Mission accomplished boys. We are so glad to have you all back. Don't rest too much, annual PT tests in 3 weeks. We have another mission planned for you guys, I know you're all eager to leave again. If one of you do not answer his phone during leave, better believe that he will regret it. Captain, (our unit commander for the mission) mandatory showers for everyone, you guys stink."

Warming welcome on a freezing deserted place in the middle of the night.

No need to think about all that. We are going home. I am going home.