Well, I had originally posted this as a comment on r/Army and it seems to have entertained people, so I decided to share it here, because I didn't know there was a /MilitaryStories ...

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This is the event (one of them at least) that made me seriously consider getting out of the Army. In 1999, I was a captain, and a fairly new Public Affairs Officer, have been an enlisted MP, a FA lieutenant, and finally an MI Captain, and then after company command, I transferred into Public Affairs. My first assignment was with the 10th Mountain Division, and in 1999 (sorry, I thought it was '98' in the other post), we deployed to Kosovo during the first rotation of forces at Camp Bondsteel.

After a six-month deployment, we returned to Fort Drum in December. Fort Drum. Upstate NY. December....

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It's 1999 ... I'm an Army captain, recently returned to Fort Drum from a deployment. It's December and the CG's outdoor PT policy is 3xweek unless it's 25 below zero. I'm in my living room watching the temp go from minus 18-23... so, outdoor PT it is.

Me and 5 soldiers are slogging through freezing rain, all dressed the same, except the two of us that wear glasses have our neck gaiters just UNDER our nose, not over our nose, because over the nose makes our glasses steam up and then freeze.

We're shuffling along, and I hear "WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE OF THAT FORMATION?" I tell the guys, "keep running, I got this." and I yell back, "I AM, WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO KNOW?"

Turns out to be the "acting" division CSM, because the rest of the division is still deployed. I explain the glasses thing, and he says we should have all had our neck gaiters the same way.

I end the conversation with, "Well, it's been fun, but I'm sure you have a cigarette butt detail to organize, so get the fuck out of my face."

I'm not home 2 mins before I get a call from the "acting" CG's office, telling me to come talk to the 1-star, a guy named Gary Speer. This clown makes me wait 15 mins while he chews out some battalion commander who had a BN run, but let one company wear gloves and one wear mittens. Holy. Fuck. No credit for the fact they were still running outside in -22 degree weather.

I get my turn and this jerk says, "read me this part of the 10th Mountain Standard and tell me what it means." It's a simple section that says, "The uniform consists of ... shirt, shorts, sweat top, sweat bottom, shoes, socks." I read it and say, "Hey sir, since I have you here, one thing that's not clear to me is this next section ... (I flip pages) two pages later that says, 'commanders may, at their discretion, alter the uniform as they see fit for circumstances such as inclement weather conditions,' which is I think what I did, being the small unit commander."

The look on his face was FUCKING PRICELESS. Clearly the CSM hadn't told him that nugget (which I had also thrown on the CSM). So he puts the book down as says "okay, well, what does the word "uniform" mean to you?" I said "Sir, it means I'm going to be wrong here no matter what so....."

So I take my ass chewing, BUT AS I'M LEAVING, this jerk waits until I get to the door and says, "oh by the way, I told the CSM you'd check out with him before you go."

So I have to go see the CSM, who stays on his personal call for a few minutes while I'm standing there. Once it's clear he's just making me wait, I interrupt and tell him the general told me to check in and this is me doing it, and I walk off. He says into the phone, "Hold on a sec" and says "Hey, the general said I was right wasn't I, captain?"

I turned around and said, "Actually, he was taken a bit off guard when I showed him the part about commanders being able to alter the uniform during inclement weather. I told him that you definitely knew that part because I'd discussed it with you. Frankly, he seemed a little pissed. You might want to check that out with him."

Then I walked out, but not after enjoying that little flash of "oh shit," that crossed his face before I left.

P.S. A week later, both those assholes gave me and my guys coins for being deployed; I winked at the CSM during the ceremony when he handed me the coin. Sad part was, I don't even think he recognized me.