Sup goons! Back with another story this time from Airborne school. (There are no bears in the air) I attended in January as I re-enlisted for Airborne school and thought it would be a fun school to attend. (It is)

The first week is made up of basically learning how the parachute works/put on the parachute, and also how to fall, and when I say fall I mean you fall ( A LOT) learning the PLF and slamming into the pebbled/sandy ground 100+ times a day until you get it right.

The second week is tower week. The 250ft towers were out of commission (thankfully) they looked scarier than actually jumping, but we do jump out of a 34 ft tower connected to a zip line that yanks your private parts into the next universe. (We were all sore) I think I texted my wife 20+ times after the training day to explain to her that we might not have children after this experience. The day before the weekend starts and Monday begins jump week the blackhats finally go over malfunctions. Using the 250ft tower they show us what it looks like if your chute malfunctions. “Pull your reserve! And if it don’t open, we’ll ladies and gents, you have the rest of your life/fall to figure it out!” The blackhats say. Lol.

Jump week… here we go, you find out what your really made of. Everyone was nervous (you could easily tell by how silent everyone got that morning. The fear of heights is instinctual, it’s primal, it’s normal, if you said “I’m not scared” you’re lying to yourself. The engines roared on the airfield as we only had 1 C-130 that day. “Chalk 10-11 stand up and face the flight deck!” One of the Blackhats yelled. I looked at my Airforce parachute rigger buddy that sat next to me (who I made sure to befriend) “well that’s us brother, you ready?!” He replied “well I don’t think I have a choice really now” the blackhats made sure to inform us very quickly “If you’re going to jump refuse quit now and not at the door!” A couple of guys raised their hands and were instantly dropped.

We walked down the chute shack after watching a 1970s army airborne commercial for what seemed like a lifetime. You could hear the commercial as we were walking out “you’re going to run until your legs get hard, that way when you hit the ground it’s the ground that hurts” I smirked a little bit and laughed to myself.

We walked into the plane and sat down, next thing you know we are in the air. We started singing some songs to ease the nerves, some of us were quiet, some of us were just living in the moment. About 10 minutes had gone by. The Airforce crewman opened the door and it sounded like a mountain lion screeching. “STAND UP!” This was my first (oh fuck) moment. “HOOK UP!” This was my second. “SOUND OFF FOR EQUIPMENT CHECK!” I was shaking. I was the first man in the door. The jumpmaster looked at me “hey, why did you come here?” He asked me. “To jump out of planes sgt airborne!” He smirked. “You came to the right place! Most people pay to get a view like this! You’re getting paid!” I smirked. “STAND BY!” I handed him my static line and turned out the door. “You set the tone N760! Don’t fail Me now!” My butthole was in my throat at this point. I was scared to death. I stood there for 30-45 seconds but felt like a lifetime. I received probably the hardest slap on my 4Th point of contact I’ve ever had I charged out the door.

My mind was blank, for 6 seconds I counted and then boom! I had a twist in my risers, (really god?) I immediately started to donkey kick out of it for probably 6 more seconds. My chute was open and I was at peace. I prepared to land and kept the feet together (because that makes the food (or ground) taste better) I landed relatively good and double timed to the chute shack. I still had 4 more to go but I’ll never forget my 1st!

AATW