In the early '90s I was stationed in Japan. We were on a small little radio base about halfway between Yokosuka and Yokota.

We were a tiny little secret squirrel base that even the cab drivers had problems finding.

Little background for the story...Marines provided security for the secure facility, and one of the gates. The Navy, was responsible for the barracks and housing. The Japanese Maritime Self-Defense Force took care of the main gate.

Other than security and a couple of seabees who handled public works, and everyone else was a secret squirrel.

The Marines were detachment from Yokosuka. Most of them including their Gunny were really good guys no issues. However their OIC (Officer-in-Command) was a total prick with a Napoleon complex. I will refer to him here as Napoleon Jr..

He felt that being an officer and running the Marine security detachment, gave him the right to order everyone around and treat everyone like shit. But he was quite a stickler on military courtesy. You must come to a complete stop, you must give a parade ground worthy salute and you must address him by his rank saying good morning/evening captain.

There were multiple instances with this guy physically grabbing one of the secret squirrel folks and demanding they complete some bullshit task. I myself one day was ordered to go to the galley and bring him back two thermoses of coffee (I hope the fucker is still waiting for his coffee). There were repeated confrontations between Napoleon Jr, and the secret squirrel officers. I know at least one became physical with a Navy warrant officer lifting him up off the ground and holding him up against the wall by his throat.

I was good friends with the senior seabee (PO1 Smith "Smitty") on base, and he regularly had run-ins with Napoleon Jr. Napoleon Jr felt he could order Smitty to renovate things in the barracks, or work on his POV.

Smitty decided one day that a little malicious compliance was in effect. He started referring to Napoleon Jr as lieutenant. Every time he saw him he would stop what he was doing he would immediately go to attention and if he was out of saluting range he would yell out in his best parade ground voice "Good morning, lieutenant".

This is going on for about a month comments made by Napoleon Jr to Smitty's chain of command were ignored. I was off work one day and sitting on the patio next to the shoppette we had on post. I see Smitty heading in my direction. Then I see Napoleon Jr exiting the building and start walking in Smitty's direction.

Napoleon Jr approached Smitty on the sidewalk. Smitty saluted him and in his best playground voice bellowed "Good morning Lieutenant".

Napoleon Jr lost his shit he screaming I'm sick and tired of you disrespecting me Petty Officer Smith. What the fuck do these two silver bars mean to you. Smitty without losing a beat replied lieutenant sir, and kept walking.

Napoleon Jr just stood there with his mouth hanging open. Meanwhile everyone in the patio area who heard this burst out laughing. Napoleon Jr glared at us and then turned around and kept walking.

At the club that evening, Smitty drank for free.