I’ll start.

Walking down the sidewalk at Great Lakes minding my own daggum business when a ninja RDC appears out of the blue and starts reading me the riot act for I have no idea what.

When I went to ask him what I was in trouble for, he screams at the top of his lungs “Ricky, I’ll ASMO your ass back into your momma’s pussy!!!”

(ASMO is where they set you back to week X of boot camp to start over)