Between all branches we have here, what is the funniest safety brief you've had?

The ones I can remember are:

1) If it’s warm, wet and not yours, don’t touch it.

2) If the thought of doing something makes you giggle for more than 5 seconds…you are to assume that you are NOT allowed to do it.

3) If you can’t wash it off, show it off, or share it with your friends, DON’T BRING IT HOME!

4) Don’t add or subtract to the population..

5) Drinking, driving, sex, and swimming…don’t do any two at the same time.

6) Remember the four hit rule: Don’t hit your pets, Don’t hit your kids, Don’t hit your spouse, If your neighbor’s spouse asks you to hit it, DON’T!

7) If you’re going to play adult hide and seek, take yourself down to CVS and get some hide and seek equipment. If you don’t get your hide and seek equipment, you’ll be back in that same aisle at CVS buying a pregnancy test.

8) Don't drink and drive, after all, you might hit a bump and spill your drink. But seriously, don't drink and drive. It is funny how red white and blue stand for freedom unless they are flashing behind you...

9) If you are going to engage in sexual relations, go to MOPP2. If they look questionable, MOPP4.