Hey dudes,

I'm a hiring manager and I've just gone through another round of reference checks with a few former military members. For the love of all things, please do not list the most senior officers you can think of as your references if they don't know who you are..

From my end, those conversations play out super awkwardly when I call the General / Admiral whose name you remember:

"Hello Admiral. I'm calling to see if you have time to talk about Mr. Joe and his potential fit with my organization."

"Hmm. Mr. Joe. Doesn't ring any bells."

"Oh. Interesting. They listed you as their first professional reference."

"Yeah, nope. Nobody comes to mind."

"Uh....Welp. Thanks."

First, don't list someone as a reference without telling them. Before you list someone as your reference, have a conversation with them about the position, why you want it, why you're listing them as a reference, and consider sending them a copy of your resume so they have something to reference.

Second, and this is just my recommendation, list three references. Someone you worked for, someone who was a peer, and someone who worked for you or was otherwise junior to you. Make no mistake - that last person is your heavy hitter. I don't care if it's a high school kid that looked up to you or a junior enlisted goofball that you mentored briefly. People in middle-management and senior roles get into the swing of providing references and know how to say the right stuff. As someone who conducts reference checks, I value the 20-something that says "I'd run through a goddamn wall for that fucking guy," way more than the O6 who's giving me a copy-paste version of the same recommendation they've given a hundred times.

You get to pick your references. They shouldn't be a wild card, they shouldn't have to wonder what to say, and they definitely shouldn't have to scratch their head trying to remember who the heck you are.