Hi! My friend is talking to a guy online and he’s giving off all of these red flags of not being real but my friend’s in denial. Is there a way to truly confirm this as she doesn’t want to “lose him” by questioning him too much as he threatens to walk. During conversations with my friend, these are some of the red flags that I’ve pointed out:

1. He said that he can’t access his bank account.

2. He said it was his daughter’s birthday and asked for some money to get her a gift. When my friend said no to sending him money, he asked her to buy his daughter a gift card instead and she complied after saying never again.

3. A day or two after my friend sent him the gift card, he asked her for money to pay his phone bill and she said no and he said that they wouldn’t be able to talk as much as the base wifi was slow but he’s been talking the same amount as before but uses it as an excuse not to video chat. My friend offered to pay his phone bill directly for him and he refused and said he’d rather have money transferred to a colleague or a gift card to pay it himself.

4. Apparently both of his parents are deceased and his ex is out of the picture so his daughter is being watched by a nanny while he’s away at base. No family or friends that he trusts.

5. He has no social media but uses various dating apps (how they started talking) SnapChat and WhatsApp.

6. He has “love bombed” her within a week of talking.

7. He avoids questions about himself but asks her a lot of personal information.

8. He’s apparently American and yet his written English is poor.

9. He’s never in uniform in his selfies.

Reasons why my friend is in denial:

1. She asked him to send a picture of him holding up 4 fingers and he complied but I think the photo was photoshopped.

2. She asked to video chat and he said he couldn’t on SnapChat but could on WhatsApp (apparently his phone was too old for SnapChat video). Once on WhatsApp, the video had no audio and lasted under a minute as he said he was driving. I think this was a prerecorded video of a soldier’s stolen identity.

3. She asked him to share his location and it was in the vicinity of his apparent military base. I think he just changed his IP address as his location didn’t move at all from the middle of a field (no buildings around).

Maybe I’m just being paranoid but I’m worried about my friend’s heart and her bank account. I told her to ask for his APO and he refused saying that he doesn’t want mail. His base is apparently JFHQ and I have his name and photos if anyone can help me find out if this guy’s real.