I was an angsty teenager. My entire life I wanted to join the goddamn military. I joined. I was happy.

I had spent my entire life reading Captain America comics, watching Star Wars, playing CoD, and studying war. I wanted to become the real life Captain America. On my dorm walls, I had large photos of legendary men like Audie Murphy, George Washington, Andrew Jackson, U.S Grant, Captain America, Punisher, etc

War never came. I was disappointed that I hadn’t seen battle. I SPENT MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE BECOMING RAMBO, just to never even kill a single evil bastard. I wanted to kill so many Nazis, to the point where every single one of those pieces of shit had nightmares about me. I left disappointed.

But y’know what, I get pussy everyday so it’s alright