I hope this is an okay place to ask this. I tried searching for an answer and didn't find what I needed. Please forgive me if I misuse any terminology, I'm doing my best despite having no first-hand experience with the military.

I'm writing a story about a small, close-knit town in the US dealing with several of its residents going to war. Among those who went are a father and son. The father has been killed in action, and I'm working on his being brought home and on his funeral. I'm trying to portray the process realistically, so I've done a lot of reading about how it happens (it's a touching process, I'm awed by the level of respect).

My question is: how likely is it that the son would be allowed to attend the funeral, given that he is still serving in an active conflict overseas? And if he is there, would he serve as a pallbearer?