cant not think about the army its always in the head , i cant really sleep as well and if i do sleep i wake up from flashes . :\ its hard to find meaning to stay alive , i just want to shoot until iam down , evreything in normal look with no meaning

i miss brothers who will i never see. i am sad i made a terrible choices who fcked up shit

i cant anymore i cant i dont know what to do i will never be able to talk about that with someone. :\

why i cant think straight , why i want war.