A new piece that will go in the book, in part or in whole. Enjoy.

The military has two kinds of volunteering, regardless of nation or branch. The first kind is "voluntold."

"I need a detail to police up the area before the general arrives. You three, get to it."

There is no "volunteer" in that at all. But we called it voluntold because they always said "I need" like it was a request, before telling you to shut the fuck up and go do it. No one likes to be voluntold a damn thing, and it was never good.

Then there is the dangerous assignment - volunteer. I'm not even talking about the truly dangerous stuff like "I need a volunteer to clear that trench" or something stupid. Nope, this is stuff that is hazardous to your mental and emotional well-being. Because it is all mind fuck games.

It started in Basic training one day, sometime during the second week. The head Drill Sergeant took the morning report from me as platoon leader, then said "I need two volunteers!" There was a bit of hesitation, but finally a couple of my guys raised their hand and warily stepped forward.

"Congratulations, Privates! You don't have to do any training or class today." He had a HUGE shit eating grin on his face - you almost couldn't see the rest of his face. I could tell immediately something was up. The backs of my guys were turned to me since they were in front of the formation, but you could see them visibly relax. The rest of my platoon groaned - they should have raised their hand. Then the other shoe dropped.

"You are on KP duty. Report to the mess hall."

I guess it is up in the air as to which was better. KP certainly wasn't as hard as doing our normal basic training, but it also wasn't any fun at all. Regardless, the rest of the platoon let out a collective sigh of relief that they dodged the bullet.

Several days later, our platoon is up again. This time, the head DS came up to me and quietly whispered, "I need two privates for special duty." I called my platoon to attention and asked for two volunteers. No one raised their hand.

"I will pick two of you at random if no one volunteers. We are all going to have to do it eventually. Someone step up." I was thinking about putting myself up for it when two of my guys raised their hands. After they reported up front to the Drill Sergeant, he changed it up on us. "Privates, you are dismissed for the day. Enjoy your time off. Dismissed." They let out a whoop and ran off to the barracks. There wouldn't be shit for them to do with no TV or anything, but at least they weren't going to be marching in the hot desert sun or whatever today.

What. The. Fuck. The rest of us were stunned.

"I need two more privates!" I knew what was coming. Several hands went up all at once. Idiots. The carrot has already been passed out, you are getting the stick now. Sure enough, the second two volunteers got sent to KP duty for the day.

After that, it became a regular game. But not just in Basic Training, it happened in AIT and in regular units as well. A senior NCO would ask for volunteers, and you never knew if you were going to get a day off or get extra duty of some kind. They kept changing up if the first or second group got screwed. I was pretty risk adverse at the time (despite joining a combat arms MOS) and never did volunteer a lot. I only got time off as a result of volunteering once, and after the second or third time I got the shit end of the stick I quit volunteering for anything. I certainly got voluntold many times.

I try not to volunteer for shit anymore, unless I know for a fact that I have to do less/easier work. Although the chances of the civilian world asking me to do KP or to burn the shit in the outhouses is 0%, I'm not taking chances. I volunteered to serve, and did so, racking up three lifetime disabilities in the process. I'm done volunteering. I've earned that right I think. Anyone with an honorable discharge has.

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