That's the name I was unofficially awarded at least once by every command team I've interacted with in this journey I've undertaken since November 2021.

"Hey sarmage, specialist uh shit...uhhh the Bone Marrow Guy is here to see you"

And such the honorable title was bestowed upon me through trial and keystone, I'm a very forgettable young man. I'm a 22 year old signaleer Specialist, with less than two years on Fort Bliss.

But that didnt really stop me, all across 2022 I built and ran Fort Bliss's Bone Marrow Donor Registry program singlehandedly. The first to be done at Fort Bliss is 10 years and has broken several records across the military. Fort Bliss was the number two base in the military for registrations in 2022.

It's a pretty fun hobby.

But everyone always wants a backstory and this is the place for stories.

I got the idea from a punk rock concert a friend took me to. I don't really like punk rock at all (or really any edgy white people music) but there was an organization with a table at the door called Punk Rock Saves Lives that caught my interest. They were voluntarily swabbing the people who came in, to register them as potential bone marrow donors. I really liked the idea and simplicity of execution. So put it in my pocket, currently too busy working 14 hours a day working in the middle of the New Mexico desert with the afgan refugees in Operation Allies Welcome

Mohawks save lives

Eventually I reached out between crushingly long shifts and started learning about the program and registry process. Planning to work with them until they learned I was in the army. They told me they couldn't touch me saying "yall are property, you have to go through those who are responsible for your spit." They then gave me a number to a guy who's done it before, who then gave me another number, and that guy gave me an email, and I worked my way up this email ladder til I found someone who finally connected me with those in charge of Salute To Life, the DoD Bone Marrow registry organization.

I started working with them, learning how their events went, and fitting them to work better with Fort Bliss' high OPTEMPO. With the goal of the events being more efficient both in time and registrees. Getting a brigade command team to agree to a PFCs equivalent of baby's first COA without changes basically meant I had to meticulously plan every detail of the thing, present reasons for every step to stay the same, and literally lie and say "Salute to Life says this is the best way to do this." Because leadership wants things easy and simple, they want a table set up at the brigade HQ and it to be put out to soldiers that they can go here to register. My brigade in particular loves this method and uses it for their blood drives. Garnering a whopping 6 blood donations in their last brigade-wide drive with the table method. Fighting brass wanting to do this with my drive is my part time job.

I pitched it to my brigade and a few months of planning later and nonstop politics, gaslighting, power moves, crying later I had the DTO and orders put out that every battalion was given a month to give me dates when they could do the drive in march. Two months pass and March is literally two weeks away and we have two dates out of 6. I'm freaking out. So the brigade surgeon sent an email warning all the CSMs that theyd have a visitor, and I went hunting. A full day of going office to office to office doing nonstop politics, gaslighting, power moves, and crying I had dates for every battalion. A week later i did my first event. They did not make a single change to my CONOP. I'd host battalion formations where I'd come hand out wooden SPC coins (to match my fresh promotion) to every company commander as my thank you for allowing me to siphon their soldierly spit (always got a laugh from formation), then give a 7 minute brief then have the soldiers register right there in their people box. The entire event was designed to take 30 minutes from when I opened my mouth before I was shoving boxes into my ford fiesta, knocking off my window rolling handle half the time. Training a brand new group of confused volentolds each and every event on what the hell this was and what the hell they are doing and why the hell im the one doing it.

I did this just within my brigade at first, but as I am a crackhead and had learned from my office hunting I can just walk into an office and convince a battalion to host my drive, I became what has been described as a more annoying equivalent of a broom salesman. I started just walking into a random brigade HQ, going BN office to BN office getting them to allow me to come to their formation and host a drive. I had a pretty foolproof way of not "jumping the chain of command" TECHNICALLY. I would enter the battalion office and wander around looking confused, then some SGT or officer would see this poor confused specialist and ask if I need help with anything. Then I'd immediately say "yes actually I'm wondering if you could take me to your CSM."

Salute to Life speaker at one of my events

Nature's desk

People registering

I've done probably a little under 200 meetings most of which that I just fabricated by walking to a CSMs door, knocking saying "Hey CSM, do you mind if I steal a few minutes of your time" (CO, OPS SGM, S3 OIC, whatever abbreviation was in the office at the time). Then immediately sitting down and hammering out a time, demanding my volunteers, and encouraging them to offer incentives to those registering as donors, such as late work call, day off, or three day weekend. Then meeting with every single one of their company commanders and most of doing the same things so everything runs smoothly.

The trick I learned is to come up with a really sounding impressive title and position that alludes to me having more authority and oversight than I actually have. I have to make a units leader take me seriously or be unsure as to if they are able to say fuck off within 20 seconds or else I wont get the event. "Hello SGM, I am Specialist bonemarrowguy, I run Fort Bliss's Bone Marrow Donor Registry program through Salute To Life, the DoD Bone Marrow Donor registry program, I've done events with every battalion in your brigade and now it's finally time for me to meet with you and try and work together on this and finish out the brigade."

Nothing runs smoothly, every event and unit was its own unique aneurysm and stress and problem solving. Something went wrong at every single one and I'd have to just deal and fix it in the minutes before I went up and spoke. If you were one of my volunteers, or the NCOIC doing the formation and interacting with me before hand you could probably physically see my hairline retreating for cover in those minutes before I snapped into public speaking mode. (shitting my pants and fighting my way through my own naturally very quiet voice)

Fitting all this in my spare time, during lunch after I get released or when there's nothing to do but sit at work. "Hey Sarnt mind if I go do meetings, I'll be back in an hour, also I have a speech tomorrow at 630, 930, and 1600"

Today my drive has grown bigger than I could have imagined originally. I've done 30 events now touching every unit on east fort bliss to some degree.

I ran a two-week drive at the Army Hospital here, WBAMC, spending 12 hours a day there. I had three tables set up in three busy areas in the hospital with volunteers I sourced from my own brigade somehow, AIT students from the hospital, and random friends I called the leadership of. They were given the simple job of registering everyone in the hospital they could with the implicit instructions of having absolutely no moral fabric of any kind. "I don't give a shit if they are in a rush to perform a surgery, give them a kit to fill out when they are done even if they sign it in blood. I don't care if they are late to an appointment, give them a kit and hunt them down when they are waiting to get called."

Bones with hunks of wood screwed in. When someone would register theyd ring a bell on the table and all the tables would clack these above their head.

Bone clacking

My cute tables

-The hospital drive got 669 registrations, three times the previous record for hospital registry drives.

-Fort Bliss is the number two base for registrations across the military for 2022.

All the other records for 2022:

-1st Armoured Division is the number one division for registries in the military.

-2nd brigade 1AD is the number 1 brigade in the military

-3rd brigade 1AD is the number 2 brigade in the military

-4-27FA is the number 1 battalion the military

As of right now the only achievement and goal I had and cared about has finally been reached. Fort Bliss is picking up my drive, taking my designs, and will be executing them across the post every year from now on. We are designing the OPORD now.

Now you may ask, why do I post this? To brag? No, of course i wouldn't admit to that publicly. I also actively avoided being identified as long as I could til I got doxxed by a TaskandPurpose article. The only purpose of this accounts existence and this post, is to educate you on bone marrow donation and you likely misunderstand every single thing about it. It is also my literal mission to get people to host these drives at your unit. It's so easy, I just made it hard by being ambitious and choosing 1AD to be my first duty station.

-----Why you should register---

I passionately believe every person should be registered as a bone marrow donor. It's both in your interest, and the interest of the person to your left and right.

Bone marrow extracting isn't what it used to be or what you think it is. It's simple. Nobody is digging into your spine, not for the last 40 years, sorry to tell you if that's your thing. The grand majority of bone marrow donations are stem cell. If you've donated/sold your precious plasma then you've basically done the modern process of donating bone marrow. One needle each arm, a pill that sheds bone marrow into your blood stream and some waiting and you've saved a life. That's 85% of all donations. The other 15% is through your hip unfortunately, general anesthesia and a sore leg for a week like you actually didn't skip leg day for once. Nothing to let someone die over.

Registering isn't a dedication to donating one day. The chances for one are similar to a raffle at IHOP. 1 in 430 chance you'll ever be a match throughout your entire lifetime until age 65 when you're taken off. And on the chance you have a near perfect genetic match and fufill someone as handsome as you's make-a-wish you can choose to not donate when you get the call. (Though I personally wouldn't invite you to the cookout)

Being on the registry also serves you. If you're already on the registry, and your diesel fumes and vape clouds catch up. You'll be far more likely to find your handsome match quicker and fulfill your own wish. You might already have a match identified in the registry before you need it. Eat your heart out Dwayne The Rock.

-----if you want to join the chaos and start running your own events on base---

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE IN THE ARMY, I just happen to be. You yourself can run your own event at your company, be you Active, guard, reserve, or a dod civilian who can get in base. Branch does not matter, qnd id love to help a spaceforce guy do an event. You do this drive at a scale you are comfortable with.

I absolutely encourage you to do so, even if it's on fort bliss and we compete. It's so simple I can do it as someone who's never gone to a board and can't spell bone marow. You won't be taking any bone marrow, despite what half the formation thinks when they hear the bone marrow guy is coming with his dinged-up hot pink hydro flask. You are a spit collector, your currency is boxes of hundred of spit swabs. I am happy to answer any phone calls and answer questions, walk you through things, and even be on the phone for meetings to help digitally hold your hand. I don't care, I'll do it. I banged my forehead on every single pipe so you won't have to. I've fucked up and fixed it so many times you cannot surprise me.

I've created tons of resources to help you do your drive, whether you're a lowly lower enlisted like myself, saucy 1LT, brigade level leadership, or a division. I'll be putting them on this post along with updates.

Contact Salute To Life, here is the email for the lead coordinator I work with,

Recruiting@dodmarrow.org c.ballance@dodmarrow.org

Feel free to DM me for any information, I can show you how I run my events. It's labor intensive, but absolutely worth it when you get a call saying your work made a match somewhere in the country.

Event Coin Coin

The continuity book for my drive Painstakingly describes every detail of the process. Made to be usable by units of all sizes and singular soldiers. Kind of a one size fits all book, take and adjust as needed.

I've sacrificed so much for this drive. I've had panic attacks, break downs, lost relationships, damaged my relationship with my leadership on disagreements, missed out on time I could have spent doing college. worked so hard during the hospital drive I ended up in the hospital in ICU on a breathing tube from an infection. I don't care though.
It is my greatest pleasure to finally say that fort bliss is taking my drive, now I just have to make sure they do it right and hope it lasts. It makes it worth it every time someone reaches out and completes a drive, it makes it worth it when those affected reach out and tell their stories.