It's been a while and its time for a fun story.

Sorry in advance but between my fat fingers and the keyboard having been soaked in adult beverages, the keys are a bit sticky. And I apologize for the length.

Back story. The year is 1989. I was a shiny new E7 with a major in Aviation Electronics. I had all of 18 months experience as an E7, most of it as the administrative assistant to the LCPO (Leading Chief Petty Officer - the senior E9 in charge of everything) so completely out of my specialty. I had made E7 fast-in 10 years while the average person made E7 in 15 in my specialty. Worse I looked about 10 years younger than my age and my promotion history was even worse. I graduated last in my "A" school class and making E4, holding the all-time low grade and still graduating; being last on the promotion list for E5 and E6 yet still being promoted at the earliest opportunity (Timing is everything and folks that joined the Coast Guard to avoid being drafted were bailing left and right opening advancement opportunities); and was last and next to last (would really like to meet the dummy who ousted me as the anchor) when I took the tests for E7 the first two times. I actually studied the 3rd time and was promoted. This led to a lot of assumptions that I was unqualified and an incompetent. In reality, I just hated electronics but had 10 years working on aircraft. And I was good. But professional jealousy amongst my peers (and the CG is a small community with only 5000 members) was over the top.

To the story. I was stationed in Kodiak, AK. A few hundred miles away a crew of a tanker named the Exxon Valdez left a junior officer drive and the navigator allowed him to drive up on a rock that caused a massive oil spill in Alaska's pristine waters. You may of heard about it. Immediately, two helicopters were sent to Aviation Support Facility (AvSupFac) Cordova, AK. The closest military facility to the spill. This was a seasonally manned facility where Kodiak Air Station would send a helicopter to cover that part of Alaskan waters. If memory serves, Air Station San Francisco and Air Station Sitka sent them. The crews were immediately over worked. Bottom line - they didn't quite see eye to eye and it ended up in a fist fights between crews. They were there for weeks 1 and 2. To fix this issue, one of the helo's was relocated.

It was decided a Chief (E7) would be sent to Cordova to oversee maintenance and the crews. The question was, who? Kodiak is a a big station with like 23 chiefs but its also a very busy station. None of the warrant officers wanted to give up a chief. Thats when one of them came up with the brilliant idea to send me. As in his words (and with a smirk while looking directly at me) I don't do anything important anyway and it will prove once and for all if I can do a chief's job.

Needless to say, a few days later I was flying to Cordova. I would be taking over a 2 helo station with helo's from different units, Officers I didn't know, with low morale, and a host of other problems. I have to be honest. With my reputation on the line at a national level, I was scared shitless.

Upon arrival, I found out I had two very experienced crews that had been told my reputation. I quickly found out they were pissed that while one crew was flying, the other crew was stuck pumping gas into every aircraft that came for gas. And they were non stop since Cordova was the closest military base to the spill. We had to have a C-130 buddy pumping fuel into the 500 gallon tank (normally big enough for the 1 helo stationed there) almost non stop.

The next morning I called the crews together. Since their biggest bitch was the fueling, I tackled it first. I asked the crew if they were familiar with the military tradition of tagging visiting aircraft? They were. For those not knowing, this is where a decal is cut into a piece of paper (stencil) and then spray painted onto a visiting plane. I challenged the fueling crews to tag every plane that came in for fuel. BUT, if they got caught they had to buy a case of beer for everyone at Cordova.

The bitching stopped and the smiles started coming. For the next two weeks instead of almost having to order people to gas the visitors up, they were waiting. It was fun to see how one gasser would lead the visiting aircrew into the crews lounge while the other "cared" and fueled their plane. About the third day donuts and coffee started showing up. The two crews were keeping a tally and would compare notes and total aircraft tagged. Tags were being painted everywhere on planes. In broom closets, on top of horizontal stabilizers, on the beanies of rotor heads - you name it.

Now I was the chief of maintenance and a test did come up. A helo had to change an engine and a baseline had to be set. This is important as hell but after 30 years I can't tell you why. Something about how the engine is run and what speed settings it does. I dunno. But its important. And it involves the plane flying in certain conditions and sending info back to someone who is looking in the -2 publication and interpreting a chart. Things were in a panicked uproar in Kodiak as that helo was needed yesterday and no one was in Cordova to interpret the chart! They would need to lay on a C-130, which was needed elsewhere, to fly someone over to Cordova. When I finally was told of the plan, I asked why would you send someone over here when I can do it? The warrant officer who volunteered me in the first place had assumed I didn't even know what an engine looked like so how could I set a base line? What he didn't know was I did know how to do it. He was skeptical but all for it since I would finally show my ass by failing. I didn't and the party continued on.

Then the crew started bitching about just being taxi drivers for VIPs that were coming through to see the spill. I came up with repainting the 2 Coast Guard helo's FOD shields (a fiberglass protector that was placed in front of the two plane's engines that usually showed the last two numbers of the plane number) with a takeoff of the Kodiak taxi company's logo. Ours said in a circle said "Prince William Sound Taxi Co." The crew loved it and not only put it on the FOD Shield, but also on the door to the aircraft.

Soon my two weeks were up and I returned to Kodiak. It was glorious the first time I ran into my nemesis warrant officer. All I said was Hey, thanks for sending me to Cordova! Can you get me back there soon, please? He looked like he swallowed a grapefruit.

PS. Years later I found out that an article was written by someone who was impressed by the service they received in Cordova. It included pictures of the CG's helicopters (with the new logo). Apparently, it was seen by someone in DC that know the rules about officially sanctioned paint jobs and threw a major fit and wanted someone hung! I never heard about it so whomever squashed it, thanks. But then again, I was just a lowly electronics technician that didn't know shit!

If you are still reading, Thanks and I'll see you next time!