During my time in the Marine Corps, I completed a total of 4 tours in Iraq. During my second tour, we took over an Air Base from the 82nd Airborne in the AL Anbar provience. The transition period was quite fun. We were in tents that were no where near the head (Bathroom for you civilian folks.) We were also instructed to hydrate like our life depended on it. Like a good LCpl (Lance Corporal) I, usually, did what I was told. This turned out to be a mistake one night when I had to use the head, but was not going to make the distance to the designated facilitates. About half of the way there, I found a Hesco Barrier and relieved myself. Right at that time, the roaming patrol (Night Watch) observed my actions and asked what I was doing. I let them know I could not make it to the head so here marks the spot instead.

The next morning I was brought up to the Sergeant Major (SgtMaj) and my Staff Sergeant (SSgt) to explain myself. My answer was not good enough so I got to stand at the position of attention for the next 30 minutes getting my ass chewed for it. I was counseled on how disgusting that was and how it could be a health issue. This was followed by an order to make a presentation about health effects of being next to urine.

Game on. I did just that. I used my time finding obscure articles about groups of people who save their urine to drink it later for the "nutrients and vitamins lost". I went all out on this talking about the process of sterilization of the urine to the storage of the urine for later consumption. Next I found articles about holding in your pee for too long and how it could adversely effect your bladder. But the capstone to my argument was me going into the SgtMaj tent and taking pictures of the mounds of bottles filled with piss they were holding onto still. I did the same for the officer tents.

When I gave the presentation I had a blast with it. I was quite professional and presented one hell of a class in my opinion. They were fuming that I did not go the route they were expecting and finding articles about the negative side of pissing just anywhere. But what got my ass into more trouble was when I showed them the bottles THEY were hoarding and ended with this question:

What do you think is more acceptable: Me trying to go to the head but not making it, or unnamed individuals Pissing in the same area as they sleep and then holding onto the bottles?

I really would like to say that was the end of it, but my antics bought me 3 weeks of sweeping sand for 2 hours after normal 14 hour shift. (12 on 12 off with 2 hour turn over).

I still smile about this to this day, but sweeping sand in the fucking desert was a complete waste of time.

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Semper Fi!