So I'm not really military but I went to MEPS yesterday and today. I hope I get in. Don't know if this stories qualifies but I am a potential future marine.

I feel like I can't really talk about what my recruiter told me.

Hell I can't even say what I want to say here or to anyone even a therapist.

Anyway. Whatever they told me It didn't sit right with me. But new opportunities am I right ? Had to do what I had to do.

Fuck genesis.

went down I said no to everything and she brought up some shit on genesis and at that point I was fucked. Need a waiver.

Got disqualified for depression/ suicidal thoughts

Wrote a sexy letter for a waiver and need a physche evaluation. Based on what they found on genesis. God I hate genesis.

They said 99% of people that say they had those thoughts get in.

And im trying to be as discreet as I can be.

As if my thoughts were real in the first place. would they deny me then those thoughts might become reality. Trying to turn my life around and then they fuck my ass.

I cannot handle the thought of not getting in. I dont want it, I need it. And I scored the highest out of the recruits that went to MEPS with me. And maybe 40 % of the people that got accepted were tottaly dumb fucks that are going to hold most the men/women down. Especially one out of particular, regardless if I get in or nit I will always remember that part hahahahaha. Such an idiot. If God will it, they will fix it.

At MEPS I realized how many idiots are actually joining and how many I'd have to look after. And I thought I was an idiot.

Can someone tell me I'll be ok ? I think it's all up to fate honestly but I would feel so much better if I had some reaffirmation. My recruiter told me I'd be ok. But idk. Tell me im fucked hahahaha say anything Important. Please.

I apologize for any typos.

Super stressed right now.

God bless you marines out there that see this.