Iced coffee black, sesame bagel cream cheese
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This is a raw story. I have not had time to fully digest the stories we all shared tonight but I keep coming back to …
Iced coffee black, sesame bagel cream cheese…
Those are the last words I heard of the conversation as we, the die-hards, finished our last conversation of the evening and meandered off to our rooms and they echoed in my head. 3 guys in one building and me in another; Such are the vagaries of berthing in the Navy.
The rest of the unit had long since departed for bed or somewhere else before sinking into sleep but four of us from different parts of the country and with different life stories sat and commiserated about service and sacrifice and the undefinable quality that sets us apart from our civilian friends and family.
We have known each other for a couple years by this time and have learned our basic backgrounds. I know CDR A, my department head, has a wife and kids and is an IT guy in civilian life. CDR B is likewise married with young kids and is just the nicest guy you could want to meet. CDR C is just a solid dude, single (divorced but that’s almost a cliché in the military, right?) with a grown son. They are all former pilots of one sort or another; I’m just a busted up old Mustang who probably dwells on the mundane too much. Anyway….
Iced coffee black, sesame bagel cream cheese…
We talked about war and what passes for peace but is there peace for such as us?
I’m not combat arms. I was a Sailor on two different ships and I did my job but my most meaningful job was as a facilitator in an Ammo Handling unit. I was facilitator because I didn’t fire the weapons but I made it possible for those whose job it was to fire them. We can argue my culpability in the death of possible innocents later. I don’t dwell on errant missiles and bombs, I just do my job and move on.
Iced coffee black, sesame bagel cream cheese…
I heard lots of stories tonight and related a few myself. I watched an officer that I deeply respect relate the story about the loss of a shipmate to suicide during Covid. Another one gone too soon…
Iced coffee black, sesame bagel cream cheese…
That’s the part that I thought hit me that hardest. This guy that outranks me and is probably already the leader I want to be and he was brought to tears by the loss of a comrade in arms. Just another cliché, huh? Yeah…
Iced coffee black, sesame bagel cream cheese…
They all know it but I tried to get across to them that we need to keep talking about our stories and we need to listen to each other and support each other. They know but I keep trying because it is important.
Iced coffee black, sesame bagel cream cheese…
I reminded the guys as we parted for the evening that the coffee shop on base opens late on the weekend and did they want me to pick up anything off base before showing up for muster. Only one taker… CDR C who wept for his lost friend and who was so humble in his grief…
Iced coffee black, sesame bagel cream cheese…
That’s the only thing I was asked to pick up. I’ll see him tomorrow and I’ll have what he asked for and we probably won’t talk about the stories we shared this evening that left us kind of raw and open for once but that’s how it is, isn’t it? We unburden ourselves and share the load and move on until the next time we are lingering over a beer and a conversation and the question gets asked and then I will come back to this moment and…
Iced coffee black, sesame bagel cream cheese…
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