This is a story that happened to me circa 2004 in the USMC. It's an example why it's important for all service members to know their rights to refuse certain punishments.

At the time I was a newly promoted Lcpl (E3 in the USMC) and I got notified that I was selected for a random urinalysis (piss test).

No problem for me, I had never abused any sort of drug. I didn't even drink yet because I was 20 and a very good boy.

I show up to the testing building, stand in the appropriate line for my last name. I get to the front to check in and I'm told by a SSGT (E6) that he doesn't see my name on the list. I'm free to fuck off back to my job. It looks like probably half my unit was selected and there were lots of people there.

Two days later, I got a message that I needed to go see the company Gunny (who was actually just a SSGT) because I was UA (unauthorized absence) to the piss test.

"What the hell?" I thought. I grabbed a friend of my in my platoon who saw me at the piss test building, we chatted while we were in line.

The two of us Lcpls roll up to the company office and knock on the SSGT's door.

"Lcpl nospamkhanman, you were UA to the piss test. Sign this form and then go next door and take one immediately". -SSGT

"I wasn't UA, I was told my name wasn't on the list. What's the form?" - Me

"It's a page 11 saying you were UA" - SSGT

"I wasn't UA" - Me

"So it's either SSGT *name of the list guy* is lying or you are. You're telling me I should believe a Lcpl over a SSGT?" - SSGT

"Two LCpls, Meyers he will vouch he saw me there" - Me

"I did see him there Ssgt" - Meyers

"The page 11 isn't a big deal, everyone gets one at some point. Just sign and go piss" - SSGT

"I'll take the piss test, or a blood draw or whatever you want SSGT, I've never done anything illegal. That being said I'm not signing that page 11" - Me

"If you don't sign it, you'll get a NJP and you'll lose rank" - SSGT

"No problem, I'll refuse the NJP too" - Me

"You can't refuse a NJP, it doesn't work that way" - SSGT

"It absolutely does, they covered this in bootcamp actually. If I refuse it the CO has the option to recommend I get a courts martial. It'll start out with a summary courts-martial but I'll actually refuse that too. After a Summary courts-martial it goes to Special, which means I'll be assign a defense council, there will be a Jury and the Officer running the court will be a full on Judge.

Considering that my piss test is going to come back clean, I highly doubt the CO would want anything to do with this but anyway I'm willing to push this as high as I need to" - Me

"So you're fucking telling me you're willing to risk jail time and getting kicked out over this? Why the hell would you do that?" - SSGT

"Because SSGT, I was there. I don't like being called a liar. If it does somehow go all the way to a courts-martial I know I'll be found innocent and quite frankly the whole experience sounds pretty fun. Getting dressed up in Alphas and standing around in court sounds more entertaining than what I normally do" - Me

"Fine, just go take the piss test. If you pop dirty I'll make sure everyone involved throws the book at you" - SSGT

"Aye aye SSGT".

​

TL:DR

I get accused of ditching a piss test. I did not ditch the piss test. SSGT gets very confused of why I'd refuse a slap on the wrist punishment and insist that they have a trial if they won't knock it off. I do so because I know I'm innocent.