I know it's a flashy title but I promise you it's not nearly as exciting as that.

So when you get to Parris island or San Diego for summer camp they make you send a detailed list of what is and isn't allowed to be sent to the campers. Protein bars/powder, cough drops, vitamin C pills, etc.

My mom being the wonderful woman she is decides to go out and get the biggest damn protein powder she can find at Costco because her scrawny ass boy sure needed it. Well the problem is the post office didn't have a big enough box to fit it. So she did what mothers around the world do and break out the old sandwich baggies......

You can see where this is headed. My package comes up in mailcall and I'm asked to open it for the drill instructors. Cue 25 sandwich baggies of white powder. I freeze, the DIs freeze, the Platoon might as well have seen Madusa. As the last baggie comes out a note is attached,

"Senior Drill instructor ******,

My son is a scrawny little kid as you probably know. I bought the biggest protein powder i could find for him but couldn't find a box for it. ******* Told me you normally use sandwich bags to mix the protein powder so i figured I'd save you a step. Please keep taking care of him, he says you're doing a good job of it so far."

I was a Stanchion Recruit, meaning my position was in front of a column and I blended in, didn't fuck up too much nor kicked ass. Before that point (2nd phase) i don't think my senior knew my name. That all changed and I got some extra quarterdecks everytime packages came through since I "attempted" to smuggle cocaine onto Parris Island.