While I do have my own service stories I figured I'd relay this on told to me by a great man, we'll call him SSG Shawn.

So quick side note, I serve in the Navy so I'm not sure what the Army calls their watch standers so I'm just going to refer to them by our terms.

So as anyone who's been deployed knows, the camp has Roaming Watchstanders at night. What some may not know is that a Roamer will have to escort people to the latrine. This takes place during Desert Shield in Iraq. One night SSG Shawn is on duty as the Roamer, patrolling the camp. He sees a soldier step out of his tent, so naturally he finds out what this guy needs. Turns out it's a Sergeant and he needs to take a late night trip to the latrine, so SSG Shawn escorts him over.

SSG Shawn is standing by, waiting for the guy to be done so he can escort him back. It's dark, cool, and quiet. As he's waiting there he hears some rustling then "What the.. OH FUCK!" SSG Shawn turned in time to see this guy trying to haul ass with his pants around his ankles, trying to escape the wrath of a family of CAMEL SPIDERS! Apparently as this guy was getting settled in he accidentally kicked the web these things were building, and camel spiders aren't the nicest things to begin with.

SSG Shawn was able to deter these things from their prize of rump roast by chucking rocks at them. Eventually the Sergeant was able to carefully finish his business and SSG Shawn was able to get with his patrol, but he was definitely keeping an eye out in case the spiders decided to come back for revenge.

RIP Shawn you were an awesome person.